AN OPEN LETTER TO SUNNY DEOL

Hello paaji,

I want to tell you how pissed off I am with the people who keep bickering over how Hollywood has got lots of superheroes and India has got nothing (except a masked long jump athlete in KKrish). I get filled with red hot rage when these sick people adore people like John Travolta, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwargeneggar but on the other hand, ignore you. They forget that all the above mentioned action-heroes use lots of skills and technology to beat the asses of those baddies while you… you just do all of them with raw power.

There is this one thing that I like about your movies, I don’t have to bite my nails during a fight sequence thinking about whether the villain could kill you. I always know that somehow, at the end, you will manage to pound over the villains and guess what, you have never let me down. During those scenes I just pray for those poor fellows who dare to piss you off.

After Rajnikanth, if there is a man who can beat the shit out of those scoundrels, no matter how many in numbers they are, he has to be you.  I just get flabbergasted when you swing your hefty limbs and place those crooks in mid air. Plus, I am amazed by your undying spirit, I mean, in spite of having some 10 odd bullets inserted inside you, walking unsteadily, getting off balance, how you chase down the murderer of your kin or in some cases the guys who have pissed off the Indian in you, kill them in one swing of your withered arm, cremate your family, marry your only left sister to a nice guy, give them blessings and when it’s all done, then only, you  think of dying. I’d like to urge all the genetic  studies  scientists to study your genes as those genes might become the key to the immortality or if not, then at least they can be used to place supernatural immunity system in people, after some manipulations.

If you listen to me, I promise we may bring out a revolution in India. Here is what I’ve got to say. You can join the Indian National Army. Our enemies sitting beyond LOC very well know that they are going to shit their pants if this happens. They have still not recovered from the jolts that your deafening roars and your gymnastics over that moving train in their own country gave them in GADAR. They haven’t been still able to fix up that hand pump that you pulled off the ground and as it seems that they are not going to have enough luck in future too. Your joining the army would not only bring their morale down but also they won’t be having sufficient artillery and ammunition to gun you down. In case, they somehow pull this off, then also they know half of their troops are going down anyway as they have seen how bad you can be being wounded, with automatic guns in both hands and hand grenades in your pockets and hollering at a deafening pitch, Not to forget the above described immortal instincts. Man, they’ve got no chances.

Girls who get troubled with eve teasing should wear lockets having your photographs on them. They’d   just flash your photograph to these idiots and that alone would leave them paralyzed. That way the scoundrels know that God has sent his man on earth and now the girls are not at their mercy after all. Now this trick can be repeated with all sorts of problems that we face because of criminals.

Now we come to THE THING. The revolution I was talking about can be brought to life only if you think of donating your sperms. I mean, all that India needs to get rid of the problems that it is facing from within or outside the country, is having multiple Sunny Deols. Only your sperms should be used in procedures like artificial insemination so that we can produce more and more Sunny Deols for the welfare of this country. I would say this should be made mandatory. If possible, convince Rajnikanth too , to donate. I am cent percent sure this’ll turn out to be THE WAY OUT.

I hope you may take some time out of your already empty schedule and would consider my suggestions.

Your admirer

DementedSage

CAUTION: Those mothers who are interested in artificial insemination and want their child to have at least ordinary dancing sense then please ..i insist ..ignore Sunny Deol’s sperms.  Don’t believe me..have a look…